Me In A Skirt

No... this isn't about some deep-seated urge to be a transvestite... but I will be honest and say that wearing women's underwear on a few occasions before that I would be first in the queue if Calvin Klein launched a Gents "Frilly Lace and Silk" range... I'm sure David Beckham would advertise it to!

This though, might be considered even weirder. I also wonder what I would look like if I was a girl... which seems pretty ordinary... but I would like to see how I would look if I was a girl to see if I would fancy "female me"... because I would like to see on a scale of 1-10 how attractive I am to the opposite sex and if I saw myself as a woman... I'd be able to figure it out. Told you it was weird...

I often talk about people being "out of my league" or too good for me... I would love to know what my league was... where are my boundaries? Where should I be aiming my terrible chat-up lines and tricks I have learnt through years of experience in trying to charm women (albeit with little success).

Sometimes I do get the odd esteem issue, who doesn't, but if I had this opportunity to see exactly how attractive I was, I would be able to solve a lot of problems about finding the right women. Maybe I need to put myself on Am I Hot Or Not... but that defeats the point because I wouldn't want anybody else to judge or reject me... if it was me doing the judging, I would only be rejecting myself... which oh dear... has struck me as the most depressing thing in the world. So maybe this isn't the best idea in the world... but life is a gamble and I'm now hoping to find a mad Austrian scientist who can turn me into a woman for 10 mins so I can take a photo and judge myself when I turn back into a man.

Or... I could just doll myself up on women's clothing... which would be quite titillating but I'm not ready to think about that... not without the army of therapists just raring to examine my head... and as you saw with my legs photo... I hardly have the legs for a skirt!

The Layguide... hmmm... I may be rejected frequently by women but I would never buy that book. It's not about strategy... it's about lying, which quite honestly anyone can do for one night and you don't need a book to do that. If you want to have sex with the opposite sex, it can be done very easily... just pick someone and ask them, if they say "no" lower your standards slightly and repeat and repeat until you find someone who will have sex with you. There you go... that's how it works... you don't need a twat with a fucking name like "Style" trying to tell you how to lie to strippers.

It was my sister's wedding reception at the weekend... I got obscenely drunk and had a very good time. Didn't pull though... however drunk I would have got, chatting up a Second Cousin is just too fucking weird for words. My sister is trying to set me up with one of her friends... she's nice, very considerate, quite sexy but is very religious and into that whole no sex before marriage thing... which is just a no-no. Don't get me wrong... if I got to know her first, fancied her like mad and THEN decided that I could live with and love her then fine but isn't it terrible that I rule it out because I know her religious feelings on sex before I even got to know her? I'm sure that makes me a bigot of some deception... but in the end... if I could get a blow job and not upset her God then count me in. What? I already know I'm going to hell... tell me something new.